Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
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You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
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Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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