she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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