Whod you bang
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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