She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
