A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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