i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
