this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Barsexuality is the new black.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
