Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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