I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
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She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
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That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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