Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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