And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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