Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
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He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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