You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
