I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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