The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
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