...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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