he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize