Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Welp...herpes.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
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