pedialite and red bull = repair kit
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i dont even know how to be here
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.