Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine