If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.