just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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