you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
