i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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