accomplished twins. life is a go
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
