i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
