.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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