Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
