If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
