Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize