will power is for people who don't want to get laid
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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