i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."