how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...