Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
i think i just lost a toe
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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