Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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