Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I don't think brook has ever known best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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