So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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