Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
