I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
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