We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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