meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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