in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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