I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize