I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.