I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
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