Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize