kristin has been a bad kristin
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
