I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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