Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize