so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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