I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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