i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Don't make out with my wife yet
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize