2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
